Monday, September 29, 2008

You Spent How Much for What?

Last night I grabbed a bunch of friends and went to the International House of Pancakes. Now i love IHOP, but when you go to the glorious house of carbs, you must be careful. I remember the first time I went how disappointed I felt afterwards. I wasn't full. Now all of the men out there between the ages of 2 seconds and 94 years old, don't need me to explain why the greatest crime a restaurant can commit is to not fill you up, but for the women, and the exceedingly old who may have forgotten what it means to eat let me explain. It's nice if food won't make us dies any sooner then we were going to before we ate it; its better if the food we eat tastes pretty dang good; its best when we leave the dinner table with a full stomach, intestine, and a throat full just to below the wind pipe.

Sorry for the digression, but IHOP is one of those places that doesn't always get it. If you go there and order their signature item (here's a hint; it ain't the steak) chances are you'll be disappointed. There simply isn't enough mass there to fill you up. However if you go for the behemoth Steak Omelet, well not only will you be full, but you'll also not need to eat for the rest of the week. (Of coarse you will, you just won't need to.)

Anyways some members of our party were wise, they ordered the death omelet or some other gluttonous treat; however my roommate was fooled by the siren song of the 5 flavors of syrup, and the super-sized pictures, enlarged to show texture not to trick you into ordering a meal for a either a young infant, or perhaps a pet gerbil. So he ordered the crepes (pronounced craps). Needless to say, as we walked out of there he was the only one still able to drive.

Now here's the real tragedy of the whole situation. Those who were full, and the one who still hungered, all paid about nine dollars. This catastrophe has given me a chance to think about what we spend and what we get for it.

The most obvious thing we spend is money. Now I'm not any great finance expert, so I won't go on an on about money, but let me say this; If you went to the new movie Mama Mia and put it on your credit card you, my friend, may be a fool. Not only did you let some girl drag you to a musical featuring ABBA, but you put it on your credit card and chances are you're only paying interest, so by the time you've paid it off, you will have paid 200 bucks for a date with some girl you don't even remember, a movie you wish you could forget, and some nachos that didn't even fill you up (see first paragraph). Point is, don't pay interest.

Second point on money. Don't buy things in dark allies. Even if the product is legal, there's a reason Tony didn't want to meet across from the stake center. And when that car ends up belonging to the former Quick draw Frankie, don't come crying to me. Buy stuff that you know has some value.

Ok, enough with the money; Right? But what about time? You don't really think of time and money being related, but back in the day when they were inventing English they decided that you would spend both time and money. They must have seen some connection. Obviously its because time has value, and so in a sense are spending.

Here's the the obvious difference between time and money, Money you accumulate, you can save it, or spend it; with time there is no chance to save it for a rainy day, you're always spending a zit faced teenager at an arcade. It keeps flowing out of you. So the trick with time is how we spend it.

We can enrich ourselves with our time, just like with money. Only the methods are different. With time we have choices. Do we learn long division or memorize Pokemon stats? Do we go on a date with some sharp lady, or do we unlock the extra intense FTW mode on Rockband? Do we plod on through some menial job, or do we learn sweet new skills that get us more money? And most importantly do we watch Monday Night football or let the misses watch Martha Stewarts Designing Pet Swetters? (Just get two TV's)

Now the key to getting the most out of our time takes a little time. Time is kinda like water. It will either flow every which way or get channeled. When water is in a canal or a river its moving somewhere, but if the bank breaks for the river, the water just goes in the easiest path. Times the same. If you think ahead and decide what you want to do your time will be directed and will accomplish a whole lot more. If you just let your time flow wherever is easiest you'll probably get some really high scores on tetris, but you will find yourself unable to impress certain ladies who are in dire need of impressing. See women folk tend to like things that show your time has been channeled.

Now just a word of caution when channeling your time. Don't get so focused on getting the most out of your time that you don't have any variety. All those activites that moms have been deriding for years you know, messin around, have a purpose. The key is not to spend so much time on them you forget to get some value out of your time.

Well there are some thoughts on spending. I was going to talk a little bit about spending energy, but well I'm spent. Goodbye.


Tagg said...

Jake, love the ramblings my friend. The thing about IHOP cracked me up, because I learned long ago that the pancakes were a farce and to stick to the "moons over my hammy" knockoff with onion rings. That will do the job.
Also I just wanted to say that I grew up thinking your dad was the ultimate "mans man" dad, he could make anything and fix everything, including the swinging ladder that he made stationary for me...even though I was still scared of climbing and then falling (man, I was a WUSSY kid growing up). Tell him sorry for me on that one. But the whole point of my ramble here was to say your post brought back a flood (HEY...FLOOD!) of memories.
p.s. Did you hear my dad sold the house to my older brother Todd? Weird.

Pacatak said...

Thanks, for the comment. I could write forever about the sweetness we had growing up on York/Reed Dr (still no road). Thats crazy your parents are movin, and Todd is movin in. He will be an excellent addition to the hive.. i mean ward. Where are your parents movin. I mean they are as much a fixture in Blackfoot as the Cooks, or the Haddocks, or Jensen's grove, or the continual rotation of stores with the name Bronco in the name. I'm betting Puerto Rico.